Embracing Uncertainty: Why It's Hard & How to Navigate It

In this conversation, Mary Schaub explores the theme of uncertainty in today's world, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery and inner work. She discusses the challenges of navigating change and the necessity of embracing equanimity to foster personal growth. Through personal anecdotes and philosophical insights, she encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences with uncertainty and to prioritize their inner well-being as a means to contribute positively to society.

Key Takeaways:

💡Uncertainty is inevitable. The world has always been unpredictable, and resisting change only makes it harder.

💡Our aversion to change is deeply rooted. From societal norms to neurological wiring, humans are primed to prefer stability.

💡Control is an illusion. The need for control often stems from past experiences, anxiety, or fear of failure.

💡Equanimity is the answer. Developing inner stability helps us navigate change with resilience.

💡You are the protagonist of your story. Embracing self-awareness and intentionality shapes a meaningful life.

Compelling Quotes:

🎤“We may be in distress, but we’re not damsels. No one is coming to rescue us.”

🎤“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.” – Edward Abbey

🎤“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, and others build windmills.” – Chinese Proverb

🎤“Only when you can be extremely pliable and soft, can you be extremely hard and strong.” – Zen Proverb

🎤“You are the protagonist of the story you are writing for yourself.”

Keywords:

✅Dealing with uncertainty

✅Fear of change

✅How to embrace change

✅Why change is hard

✅Letting go of control

✅Psychological resistance to change

✅Stoicism and change

✅Growth mindset and transformation

✅Navigating uncertainty in life

Hashtags:

#ShobukaiShift #ChangeManagement #EmbracingUncertainty #FearOfChange #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #Stoicism #SelfDiscovery #LettingGo #Equanimity #NavigatingChange

This should make your episode discoverable while keeping it compelling for listeners.  

Disclaimer:

***The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.***

Credits: Written, produced and hosted by: Mary Schaub. Theme song written by: Mary Schaub. Mixing Engineer: Dylan Yauch

Contact: Shobukai_Shift@mschaubadvisory.com

Website: M. Schaub Advisory (MSA)

** Shobukai Shift is a MSA Production **

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Uncertainty in Today's World
• 0:22 Balancing Emotional and Intellectual Worlds
• 4:12 Understanding Our Resistance to Change

Transcript

Mary Schaub (00:10)

Alright. Woo. It has been a week. it's kind of ironic that this show is about uncertainty. Because holy shit, are we in a period of uncertainty.

So I'm calling this out because the show as I wrote it is notably lacking emotion. I need to work on this guys. I'm still working on figuring out just the balance between being real and emotionally raw and the other side which is more intellectual and rational. I like that side, I prefer that. It's a balance, I'm still working on it. And I'm probably gonna get it wrong until I figure out how to get it right.

Okay, today I wanna go back to my argument.

that now is exactly the right time to turn our focus inside. It feels counterintuitive to do this because so much is happening on the outside in the physical world. And to be clear, I do think we should try to find ways to connect positively to the outside world, whether it be supporting a charity or volunteering.

Maybe you have a church or a synagogue or mosque you haven't been to in a while. Maybe it means you're getting involved in local politics or becoming a local coach or a mentor. I just, for the record, I wholly support all of these things and we should be doing them. Most of us don't, but we should, myself included.

But I'm also arguing that right now we need to prioritize working on our own selves. It's not selfish or self-indulgent. It's mature. It's living with accountability. It's not waiting to be rescued because the hard truth is no one's coming. We may be in distress, but we're not damsels. And there are no Prince Charmings or Batman or Iron Man racing to our rescue.

I think most of us hold onto this fantasy that we will be rescued. Marvel and DC know this. We love our superheroes. So you may argue back, know, Mary, just, geez, give us a break. There's so much going on. Everything is changing so fast. Everything is so overwhelming. It's pointless to try to do anything. Well, okay, what's the alternative?

settling for a couch coma and doom scrolling. It's basically digital freebasing. Listen, I'm not being judgy. I'm talking to myself here. The point is, things have always been uncertain.

And yes, the world is crazy, but throughout our species history, things have always been uncertain and crazy. We didn't actually have more control of our lives in the 1950s. That's rosy retrospection or golden age thinking as they call it. It's a cognitive bias where we come to view the past more favorably. Our brains selectively remember positive memories and filter out negative experiences.

leads people to believe that things were simpler, better, or more enjoyable in the past. The fact that life is unpredictable isn't an excuse to avoid figuring out who you are and what you should be doing. It's precisely the right rationale to do exactly that. There's a Chinese proverb which says, when the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.

Are you a control freak? How important is it for you to feel you have control of yourself and others? Have you always been this way?

Stoic philosopher Heraclitus said life is change. And one of my favorite thinkers, Alan Watts, said the only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. All of this sounds really nice. Makes total sense in the mind, intellectually. But damn, is it hard work to accept in practice. The simple answer is,

It's not you or me, it's us. Human resistance to change is multifaceted and rooted in several interconnected domains. There are four reasons why we are primed to dislike uncertainty and change. So number one, societal reasons. We have cultural norms. They favor stability.

and numerous social structures that reward predictability.

There's a collective aversion to risk. And I think that's something we can all feel pretty profoundly right now. There's also institutional inertia, right? I've worked for organizations, tens, in some cases, hundreds of thousands of employees. And we would refer to it as trying to turn a steam ship around. It's difficult when it's that big.

I built my whole career around designing and executing large-scale complex change for these kinds of companies. Ever try to get a group of your friends to agree on a place to go for dinner or what to watch on Netflix? Try getting a hundred thousand people to accept changes which impact them personally. Not easy stuff.

The second reason why we are primed to dislike uncertainty and change is biological. We humans have an evolutionary preference for sticking to known survival strategies, and there are neurochemical rewards for maintaining familiar patterns. Since change requires metabolic expenditure, we all have an energy conservation instinct, which reinforces keeping things

the same. And uncertainty triggers stress responses. And we all know what that does to our body and our minds. right, number three, neurological reasons. Our brain has a preference for established neural pathways and creating new neural connections requires effort.

Most obviously, number four, psychological reasons why we dislike uncertainty and change. A few examples include fear of failure, comfort and predictability, and anxiety about unknown outcomes. Some of us may feel our very identity is threatened from a transformation. And sometimes it is. I think about people who over-identify with their jobs.

There are lots of examples where someone has spent 30, 40 years at a company and then gets laid off. And because their identity was so integrated in their role, in their work, a layoff could just blow them up. I mean, just like an existential threat, they don't even know who they are anymore. Finally, there's something called the loss aversion principle.

And this is a concept that people feel the pain of loss more intensely than the pleasure of gaining something equivalent.

I want to end on the fifth reason why we humans don't like change and uncertainty. the need for control is a complex psychological response to some underlying emotional vulnerability or past experience. So there are psychodynamic concepts related to our need for control. I'm just going to mention a few here. Okay. The first is

using control as a defense mechanism, right? It's a psychological strategy to manage anxiety and unpredictability. And this can often be the case if you've had a difficult early childhood where you experienced vulnerability in a really scary way. When we're children feeling powerless and vulnerable, that might lead us to compensate by being excessively controlling.

This is called compensation theory. And people who have narcissistic traits might use control as a means of maintaining a grandiose self-image, which helps them manage their underlying insecurities. Know anyone like that? Each one of us developed an attachment style with our parents as babies. Individuals with anxious or avoidant attachment patterns might develop strong

control needs as a way to manage uncertainty in personal relationships. Control is our way of trying to control others. And finally, people who have experienced significant loss or unpredictability might have an intense need to control environments and relationships as a protective mechanism or trauma response.

We are living in times of great uncertainty, but all times are uncertain times. And we know this conflicts with how humans like it to be.

So it's a big challenge to face all of this and fly in the face of these challenges and obstacles anyway, to cope with change by relaxing into it, by just accepting whatever happens. The Buddhists call this equanimity. Equanimity is a core concept which stresses psychological stability, composure, and evenness of mind.

It's about being unattached to outcomes and accepting life's ups and downs without being swept away by them. Equanimity understands the reality of life's impermanence without being emotionally hijacked by whatever comes our way. And how do we do this? Well, we cultivate inner peace that isn't dependent on external circumstances.

There's a Zen proverb which goes, only when you can be extremely pliable and soft, can you be extremely hard and strong.

So, that's it really. Simple and difficult. A lifelong practice and process. It's not easy. And there are no prizes at the end. The gift is actually in this whole journey

Until next time, remember you are the change you and the world are waiting for.